....This was originally titled "Etiquette" or some other stuffy title.  But after many years, I realized that my clients pretty much already know how to act...or they aren't my clients.  Seeing me isn't really much different than meeting a woman for a date: Show up on time, show up clean if you hope to get any action, and be honest and polite.  Other things, like handling the donation, how to talk on the phone, what a provider reference is and how to get it....That's easily found in many places, and I would only be repeating them.

 

So instead, I'm going to collect the best of the worst questions and show no mercy. You know....entertain you a little, because none of You would ask these!

 

 

Can I get a quickie?A shorter (read, cheaper) session? A special or discount? Will you take/What can you do for [anything less than my posted rates?]  

 

Fuck no, I want to charge you more now. This is the among the most disrespectful questions you can ask Any Provider--not just me!  I automatically think less of you.

 

If you can't afford my rates, save up. If you can't, you have bigger problems than not being able to see me.

 

What do you do in a session? Will you do [explicit activity] with me? Do you provide [illegal services?]

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Okay, Not Really a stupid question all the time.... if you are seeking something out of the ordinary.  I do enjoy a range of activities and I don't advertise them all. Sometimes I discover something wonderful and new with a client that I didn't know I would enjoy!

 

HOWEVER.... please expect to be screened first. When you ask questions like "Do you do oral/rimming/greek?" it can be a red flag for many providers. Makes you sound like a cop trying to gather evidence.

 

I would much rather you introduce yourself with a provider reference (unasked) and tell me you have questions about what is possible, or that you have something special in mind.  I can screen you and then we can start the conversation, both of us feeling safer.

 

Why do I need to give you a reference, why do I need to give you all this info? How do I know you are real?

 

Do you homework. I have a website and reviews that show my history as a provider. I show my face. My reviews are my references. I don't really hide who I am, and I am lucky to have a wonderful community and family that accepts all of who I am.  Who are you, and how do I know that I will be safe?

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Will you Domme me??

 

I always hear a whiny tone when I read this question, I can't help it.  I advertise as a submissive....I try to make it clear that I'm not interesting in dominating anyone (except in video games). Honestly, I'm not even going to grant them an answer, because I'm pretty sure most of the dudes asking this just get off on me saying No to them.